Bob here, filling in for Rob.  He was snerdin' it up last night doing school work, so he couldn't be here for you this morning.  I shouldn't be too hard on him, though, because he just got into grad school at George Washington.  Give him an apple and some teeth made of wool to show your support... I mean wood; I mix up the D and L. On with the links!

• Let's start the morning off with something that's full of win...for the Utah Jazz, at least.  Sundiata Gaines hit his first NBA three pointer against the Cavs and, well, it was about as boring as a first make could be: it was the game-winner.  Marv Albert's classic, "Yes!" and Reggie Miller channeling his inner Bill Walton ensues (as well as a celebrating Gaines who gets on the scorer's table only to realize the fans have no idea who he is):
  
  

• Speaking of win, the Red Wings are heating up.  Here are last night's highlights from their 3-1 win over the Carolina Hurricanes.  Be on the look out for Cam Ward saving pucks with his face:
  
  

• This poor OHL'er now knows what it means to be Kronwall'd (aka -- knocked the fuck out):
  
  

• Marvin Harrison was a killer wide receiver, but is he also a killer?  Some pretty convincing detective work writing by GQ's Jason Fagone, that was so damn good that the new DA of Philly is calling in the FBI to take fresh peek at the case. I don't know, but that mustache doesn't look so perfectly trimmed & innocent anymore.

• Probably the first fat kid I've ever seen pass up eating his ice cream, so he could use it as war paint:
  
  

• Monta Ellis is one of the most underrated guards in the NBA.  He can also kick your ass in a game of H-O-R-S-E:
  
  

• The Tigers agreed to a 2-year deal worth $14 million (with a team option for a third year) with closer, Jose Valverde.  The Tigers will lose the 19th pick in the draft as a result, but they are acquiring a top tier closer in return.  He has 116 saves over the past three years, saving games with an 86% efficiency over his career.  I'll have more on this, but for now: Good move, Tags.

• The Conan vs. Leno/NBC battle is getting really feisty.  Check out the clips from last night's shows.  Also, Conan's selling the Late Night Show on Craigslist.  #bringbackthemasturbatingbear

• Shawn Kemp still has lots of illegitimate kids and still has lots and lots of fun.

• Gilbert Arenas was charged with a felony, but has reached a plea agreement.  He will face little to no jail time, but I'm sure he'll make drop the soap jokes anyway.

Look at the hot chicks that Sidney Crosby attracts.  Have a gay Friday:

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