MY Team of Five to Save the World

So it’s Friday night and I was on Facebook, naturally, and I saw one of my friends, Matt Clapp had just completed one of those Living Social Top 5’s that are about as addicting as crack and goldfish (separate addictions, depending on the mood).  As it flashed on my screen I got the itch and I had to complete one, too.

The question:

“If you had to form a team to save the world who would be in it?”

So I got to brainstorming and this is, in my mind, the best team that you can possibly come up with (if given just an hour to put it together) and my reasons why:

Steve Yzerman

He would undoubtedly wear the ‘C’ for this team as he wore it proudly for 20 years with the Detroit Red Wings.  This guy did whatever it took to win while he was in Detroit, including changing his style of play a number of times for the betterment of the team.  En route to three Stanley Cup championships with the Red Wings, Yzerman was one of the best players in the game and one of the most popular.  No doubt in my mind that “The Captain” would serve this world-saving team just as well.

Bruce Willis

This one might come as a bit of a shock to some of you, but this was also a no brainer for me.  I chose him second so he could help pick the rest of the team.  Why?  He already has experience doing so in Armageddon when he saved the world for a first time.  If you think he might get complacent and have a “been there, done that” attitude (which would surely hurt the team), I would simply remind you that he’s never had a problem coming back for more as he kicked ass in not one, but four Die Hard movies.  Not to mention the fact he was pretty bad ass in Grindhouse and Sin City.  Also, if he ever died he’d just come back as a ghost and talk to other dead people and direct them to help the team in any way possible.  He’s what I’d like to call a five-tool team player with a sixth sense. 

Morgan Freeman (more specifically, Red from Shawshank Redemption)

If the story of this team saving the world ever made it into theaters, Morgan Freeman would almost certainly act in it and narrate it.  However, he brings much more to the table than a great film resume and being an old, warm, soft spoken black man.  As Red, he would help distribute all the supplies for success and he’d serve as one hell of a psychiatrist in case anyone goes crazy–we’re bound to have a mental break down or two since we are saving the world.  He’s a wily veteran who knows the ropes, a guy I want on my team eleven times out of ten.

Jason Bourne

I’m a sucker for loyalty, leadership, and strategy, which this team is full of already, but you need more than that to save the world.  A guy that incorporates those traits, but also has the grit and immortality necessary to have a successful world saving mission is Jason Bourne.  As Paul Rudd’s character said in The 40-Year Old Virgin I always kind of thought Damon was like a Streisand, but he’s really rocking the shit in those Bourne movies.  He’s absolutely indestructible as he goes all over the world kicking ass, and taking names for good measure.  If you think three movies isn’t enough to sell this pick, then don’t fret because the fourth one comes out in 2010 with even more to follow.  He’s a hoss and a necessity on this team to save the world.

Shaquille O’Neil (or Shaq Fu!)

Don’t laugh.  Every world saving team needs a big man just like any NBA Championship team.  I don’t think there is any denying that Shaquille O’Neil in his prime is one of the best all-time.  In addition to his skills, he brings a sense of humor that would help ease the immense stress that comes with saving the world.  He’s not just a post man with a sense of humor, though.  He was Steel and the genie in Kazaam, so he brings those attributes to the table as well.  If the rest of the team needed to be serenaded or this ever turned into a movie with a soundtrack, Shaq has your back covered on that, too.  He’s had full blown rap albums and provided a soundtrack song for the recent hit movie, Pineapple Express called, “I Know I Got Skillz.”  What most people don’t know is Shaq is one hell of a fighter.  If you haven’t played his video game, Shaq-Fu then you wouldn’t understand that he has a whole other level to him that would benefit a team saving the world.  Check out the first five minutes of the game for further proof of his “skillz.”  And if you don’t believe the cartoon video game, then check out the video underneath.  Shaq is a guy I definitely want on my world saving team because every winning team needs a big man.

I think there are a ton of good options.  A few that didn’t make the cut for me, and would probably come off the bench are: Jackie Chan, Raphael the Ninja Turtle, Jessica Alba, and Chuck Norris (most people put him in there, so I didn’t want to be too unoriginal/I don’t think a roundhouse kick can save the world, or can it?)

So who would you have on your world saving team?

About Bob Biscigliano

Bob is a writer of s(p)orts