We all have our favorite pillow, right? But you wouldn't marry it, would you? Well someone has. Yes, it's real. How can you have consensual sex with a pillow?
I meant to post this video this past Sunday, but I was too busy staring at myself in the mirror. Please watch this if you demand a good laugh. I'm still trying to figure out how Jonah Hill didn't make the cut, though.
While watching this, aside from thinking about how handsome I am, it reminded me of a couple other funny clips I've seen in my lyfe:
Short post today, I have an exam and then I'll be "slapping my troubles away" with my new Slap Chop. Wow, that sounded awful.
Yesterday's big story out of the D (or Lakeland, FL to be exact) was the first head-to-head matchup against Curtis Granderson and the Yankees. The Tigers came up short in the game, losing 9-8. However, the kitties were up for most of the game when actual major leaguers were playing. Make sure to keep tabs on Bless You Boys, Alli is in Lakeland and posting daily updates.
It looks like Rodney Stuckey's scare won't sideline him forever. Doctors cleared him to exercise yesterday after testing him more than a jealous girlfriend. No one is sure whether we'll actually see Stuckey in a game again this year, but I hope he makes it back before the end of the season. It's one thing to shut down a veteran with an injury concern, but Stuckey is still developing and could use the game experience. [via Detroit Bad Boys]
March Madness is almost here. You crazy bastards we call "Notre Dame fans" will be happy to hear that the Irish beat Seton Hall, likely cementing their place within the field of 64 65. However, "March Madness" doesn't just apply to basketball. Thunder Treats is hard at work working out the seeds for their Cougar Madness Tournament. They released the #1 seeds yesterday, with the rest of the field TBA. It's early, but I don't know if I see any of those four going down before the Final Four.
Last year's champ Mary Louise Parker - NOT among the #1 seeds this year
I've heard ideas before on how to ruin increase parity in baseball, but nothing as dumb as this. Deadspin points out why divisional realignment would be a bad, bad idea. I don't understand why this idea was even mentioned to the press.
By now you've probably heard the massive outcry for the NHL to crack down on blows to the head after Pittsburgh's Matt Cooke gooned it up on Boston Bruin Marc Savard last weekend. Hockey Independent takes a different approach: why wasn't Cooke knocked the eff out by another Bruin later that game? Zdeno Chara is 6'9", you know Cooke won't win that fight.
It took me about a week on campus to realize that it would be kind of creepy to ask a college football player for their autograph when you're sitting next to them in psychology. Maize n Brew points out this fact (and more) in their guide to being a creepy doucher on recruiting message boards.
Rob's Highlight of the Day
This is the first shootout goal I've ever seen where the shooter took the time to teabag the goalie before putting the puck into the net. Nice goal. [via Gunaxin]
Lots to get to today, so read up while you eat your oatmeal.
MSU guard Chris Allen has been suspended indefinitely by coach Tom Izzo for academic problems (or so we're told). KJ has more analysis at The Only Colors. I don't see this as too big of a deal for the Sparties this weekend. They're already going to the NCAA tournament and don't have a shot at the #1 seed. If anything, it gives Izzo a chance to play some of the young guns in a non-garbage-time situation before the Big Dance.
Minnesota Twins closer Joe Nathan will likely need season-ending Tommy John surgery to repair a ligament in his right elbow. Nathan is a perfect 30-for-30 in saves against the Tigers throughout his career. This could definitely be a big factor in deciding the AL Central this season.
I haven't given much thought to the smaller conference championship games so far, mostly because none of my favorite teams are on the bubble this year. However, Oakland University punched it's ticket last night with a 76-64 win over IUPUI. Pravato will probably have more analysis later. Some other notable dancers are Cornell, Northern Iowa, Siena, and Wofford, this year's cherry-popper of the NCAA tournament.
Over at Motown Wings, Chris Hollis tried his best to reverse the D4L-cursed Jersey Number Countdown. While it's a great idea in principle, this year's Red Wings just can't be trusted. The Wings let another third period lead slip away, losing 4-2 to the Flames. A recap-in-pictures (for the not-too-queasy) is here. I still think they will make the playoffs, but I don't see them going too much further this year. Maybe they need this girl for a motivational speech.
I usually save the top link for the biggest news of the day, and... that doesn't change today. Erin Andrews is now on Twitter. Rey Maualuga can barely contain himself. [via Guyism]
File this in the "not surprised" column. The UConn women's basketball team won its 71st straight game last night, beating Notre Dame 59-44. The real question: would you even know if ESPN wasn't talking non-stop about it? The answer is undoubtedly "no," because I'm sure you had no idea that the Penn State women's volleyball team has won 102 straight games matches. And better uniforms.
I don't mention it much, but I'm not a big fan of Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald. Maybe it's his annoying demeanor on Pardon the Interruption or something. I don't know. That being said, he has a great piece up about the "TMZ-ization" of sports and how the mainstream sports media is basically turning into a giant paparazzi mob. [via @JemeleHill]
Rest easy everyone, I'm finally back in the mitten where there's wireless internets all over. It's nice to see this place didn't burn down while I was gone. Oh, and go somewhere else to talk about the Oscars. Avatar was sweet, but I haven't seen any of those other movies. Ricky Bobby and I will be busy watching Highlander.
The Lions got busy at the beginning of the free agent signing period, inking Nate Burleson and Kyle Vanden Bosch to multi-year deals. I hate the Burleson deal about as much as I love the Vanden Bosch one, and I'm a big fan of what KVB will bring to the Lions D. Paying Burleson $5 million per year to be the third (and possibly fourth?) option in the passing game is beyond silly, but hopefully this removes all doubt of hearing Dez Bryant's name called at the #2 pick. Oh come on, you know you've had nightmares about it happening too.
Speaking of NFL free agency, there's been a crazy amount of activity across the board. Make sure to check out The Trenches, the Sporting News' NFL blog that has been clogging up my RSS reader with all the news they're breaking. Also be sure to hit up Midway Illustrated, Gang Green Nation, and Revenge of the Birds for team-specific coverage on some of the busier franchises this offseason.
Sidney Crosby, or the most overrated player in sports as I like to call him, turned down the opportunity to dole out the Top 10 list on Letterman. Jay Leno jokes aside, Crosby made a huge mistake here as far as the NHL is concerned. At least this answers the question of who pitches and who catches in the Crosby-Gary Bettman love fest. If Bettman were the "man" in this relationship, Crosby would be on Letterman tomorrow night.
We've been slackin' this first week of March, because we're hung over from such an awesome February (2nd biggest month in our blog's history), Rob is out of town with no internet access, and I've been preparing to leave town for the long weekend ahead. Forgive us and allow me to fill you in on the big stories that we missed. Grab a Zima, sit back, relax, and get ready to feel enlightened.
Hottie ESPN reporter, Erin Andrews, is trying to shake the addendum, "who got peeped on and I saw naked," to her title. People are obsessed with it, so it's not a bad PR move for her to join Dancing With the Stars to get people talking about her in another light for a change. She'll now be referred to as "that hottie ESPN reporter who got peeped on and I saw naked that is on Dancing With the Stars." And, oh yeah, it's safe to post pics of her butt again.
And your gratuitous hottie sideline reporter here.
As you probably know, the Tigers are two games deep in the meaningless Grape Fruit League. D4L's Official Austin Jackson Watch: two hits, three walks, zero strikeouts in the leadoff spot. Keep it up, man, and make all those trade haters forget all about Curtis...wait, what was his last name again? Results in the Grape Fruit League are virtually fruitless, but so far I'm seeing encouraging signs after just two games (Bonderman and Sizemore to name a couple others).
A Detroit Tigers preview that's more about how the Tigers' success will not directly affect Detroit's putrid economy. I agree with the sentiments, but it's a little hypocritical (perhaps purposely?) because, while he dismisses the 'they're saving the city' pieces that don't actually have anything to do with baseball, this 'season preview' really sheds zero light on the 2010 Detroit Tigers. Meh, read it anyway.
The one that got away ... Jessie, who used to post here (did I fart?) gives you her candid and always entertaining look at the Red Wings. The Wings are currently a point ahead of the Flames in the eight spot with the privilege to play the San Jose Sharks.
Watching Grant Hill put up solid numbers on TNT last night at the young age of 37-years old made me all teary eyed and nostalgic. The current Pistons actually make me yearn for the Grant Hill teal years, mostly because I was a huge Hill fan and adored basketball on its own enough to the point where I didn't punch in walls when they sucked (like I do now):
Rob is on Mars, the last known place in the Universe that doesn't have wireless internet, so I'll be filling in this week with the links. Oh, quit sobbing; it won't be that bad.
A major stink has been made over Hannah Storm's apparel on SportsCenter. Tony Kornheiser was suspended last week for doggin' her school girl hooker boots and now she's just dressing provocatively/wearing boots to prove a point, right? The last thing I want to see when I'm eating my cookie crisp are Ms. Storm's thunder thighs. See what I did there?
Here at D4L we don't actually read the blog we write on - because we had three mentions of LT being cut by the Chargers, including an entire post on it. That, or the Robs and Devin have ganged up to send a strong message to the Lions that they should make a run at him. And the Lions haven't ruled it out. I'm here to say that the only former Chargers running back the Lions should go after is Darren Sproles.
Michael Jordan losing to Gerald Henderson in H.O.R.S.E. is a lot like me winning a game of one-on-one last week against some old guy. I assume he was good back in the day like Jordan because he yelled out "Kobe" after every shot.
My Earth was rocked this morning when I saw this post in my Google Reader. Ball Don't Lie's ambassador for the past couple years, J.E. Skeets, is moving on to greener interwebs. Skeets has linked D4L a few times in the past six months and we've been a big fan of BDL since its inception. Follow the new fearless leader, Trey Kerby on Twitter -- he's off to a great start. Here's the big announcement Skeets and Tas made this morning:
Who needs Stephen Curry to provide highlights for my alma mater, Davidson College? Check out my boys Brendan McKillop and Steve Rossiter hitting a pair of threes in the final few seconds for Davidson to steal a win from Elon on Senior Day on Saturday.
I guess I should finally address USA losing the Gold to Canada in hockey. What I've learned is when the hockey Gods make it rain, they make it pour with Sidney Crosby's tears and unfortunately, him winning, too. I hate Crosby, but the dude has achieved nirvana in hockey's two biggest events in less than a year -- both at my teams' expense. Ugh. Well, at least we know he's still a pussy and probably celebrated the win by watching The Notebook while eating cherry garcia ice cream, and getting his toenails painted. Meanwhile, the Canadian women celebrated like real men.
This is going to be my last links post for the next week, as I'm off to Florida to get drunk and surly ask Tiger Woods when he'll be back on the golf course. Also, make sure to welcome the FNG of D4L, Robert Caylor. His inaugural post is here.
Speaking of Tiger, this billboard is probably the first good thing to come from PETA... well...ever. Click to enlarge, but don't get too excited with the puns.
Purdue's high hopes for a Final Four run are in serious jeopardy: Robbie Hummel's season is done after tearing his right ACL on Wednesday night. The Boilermakers still sit in the driver's seat in the race for the Big Eleven Ten title, but anything past that might be a tall order for a team without it's leader. Both Hammer and Rails and Boiled Sports have positive outlooks, but a loss against Michigan State this weekend will undoubtedly send fans looking for the panic button, if they aren't already.
ESPN's John Clayton adds fuel to the fire of the debate over who will go #1 in April's NFL draft. Although Ndamukong Suh is the consensus best player available, Clayton keeps the door open for the St. Louis Rams to draft a QB: either Oklahoma's Sam Bradford or Notre Dame's Jimmy Clausen. Clayton's rationale is that the Rams won't want to pay #1 money for a defensive tackle or, in the case of Tennessee's Eric Berry, a free safety. This is good news for the Lions if they're hoping Suh falls to them.
Detroit Pistons trainer Arnie Kander has banned the Pistons from wearing Nike sneakers because of the rash of injuries to players like Ben Gordon and Will Bynum. The shoes, Nike Hypersizes to be specific, are too light for Kander's standards. Since Arnie is the best in the business, I'm going to take his word for this and hope that this clears up the injuries for the Pistons.
Not sure how I missed this yesterday, but our great city is banning lap dances in strip clubs. Kwame jokes aside, I think the Detroit lawmakers have a few more pressing issues to deal with at the moment.
Big League Stew has a nice feature on former Tiger Matt Joyce, who is looking to make the jump from AAA to the big leagues in the Tampa Bay Devil Rays system. Joyce was traded last offseason for Edwin Jackson, who went on to have an All-Star season in Detroit. Joyce had a disappointing year, failing to add to his kitten-saving total.
I don't think I said anything about this when the news dropped, but Wing4lyfe Kirk Maltby will have shoulder surgery, possibly ending his season. Maltby has been playing for a good portion of the year with the injury, gutting it out for the best interest of the team while others recovered from injuries. Now that everyone is healthy, Maltby has elected for the surgery and hopes to be back for the playoffs.
Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is now on Twitter. After watching/listening to his antics for several years, I'm excited to see what Guillen is capable of in 140 characters or less. And if you feel so inclined, you can follow Jim Leyland (not really) here.
Pistons Nation has a short post up about Rip Hamilton's recent free-throw streak. Before last night's game against the Clippers, Hamilton had made 51 straight from the charity stripe, 11 behind Joe Dumars' franchise record 12 in a row. Rip's streak ended during the first half.
The Oakland Raiders may look to trade CB Nnamdi Osamugha (spelled it right the first time, I spend way too much time doing this) this offseason, leaving some to wonder if the New York Jets would be interested. Landing Osamugha would give the Jets a CB tandem of him and Darrelle Revis, sole inhabitant of "Revis Island." [via Shutdown Corner]
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