A man wearing a University of Michigan hat is allegedly the type to urinate on 7-year-old boys:

7-year-old boy said a man urinated on his shoulder last week in a men's restroom at the Grosse Pointe Woods Lake Front Park pool.

The suspect about 3 p.m. Thursday approached the boy with the zipper of his shorts open and his penis exposed, St. Clair Shores police officials said. He called the boy's attention to his genital area before urinating on the boy's shoulder, police said.

The youngster was facing a urinal when the man urinated on him, police said.

I might have the police's first suspect:

[Detroit News]

Yesterday was the official unveiling of the long-awaited renovations at Michigan Stadium. Along with a full rundown of the new features at the Big House by athletic director David Brandon (check out the details at Mgoblog), the athletic department announced the stadium's official capacity for the 2010-11 season.

When the University of Michigan football season opens on Sept. 4 against Connecticut, Michigan Stadium will once again reclaim the title of the largest stadium in the United States for college and/or professional football. The seating capacity will be 109,901 for 2010 when the historic home of Wolverine football will have the bulk of the renovations completed.

So there you have it. Your football team might be better, but our stadium is bigger. What, it's not like we're compensating for anything. Right?

[MGoBlue]

Former football coach, current associate athletic director, and Wolverine4lyfe Lloyd Carr has announced that he will retire from the University of Michigan on September 1st.

"I am thankful for the wonderful opportunity to assist two great coaches here in Bo Schembechler and Gary Moeller and I will always appreciate Joe Roberson's decision to name me the head coach in 1995. I am also appreciative for those I worked with and for all the great friendships I have developed. Most of all, I am thankful for the young men I coached and for all the memories I have from my time at Michigan."

I'm really at a loss for what to say about all that Coach Carr has done with his time at Michigan. From his on-field triumphs to his near-unparalleled contributions in the Ann Arbor community, he has engrained himself into Michigan lore alongside the likes of Yost, Crisler, Oosterban and Schembechler.

Other than waving hello when I saw him on his daily afternoon walks, I've never spoken to Coach Carr personally. However, even this simple gesture is more than most non-athletes ever experience with their school's football coach. Mr. Carr's involvement with the city of Ann Arbor and the students of the University of Michigan are what set him apart from his peers.

Congratulations on all you've accomplished Coach Carr, and have a long and happy retirement. You've earned it.

[MGoBlue, via Mgoblog]

Soon-to-be senior guard Laval Lucas-Perry was dismissed from Michigan's basketball team today by head coach John Beilein for violating team rules. There were no specifics released on what LLP did, but Coach Beilein's official statement is below.

"The University of Michigan and our men's basketball program has established expectations essential to the success of all students and athletes. These university and team standards have been clearly communicated to the team and Laval on numerous occasions through meetings, conferences and mentorship.

"Unfortunately, Laval has violated our team standards. Therefore, I have decided that he will no longer be a part of our basketball program. Given the fact that Laval is near the completion of his degree, he has been extended the offer to remain on scholarship for the 2010-11 academic year and graduate in May with our 2011 class."

Along with Manny Harris' decision to leave school early, this is another unfortunate loss for a Wolverine team coming off of a disappointing 15-17 season.

[MGoBlue]

Somewhere close to 5,000,000 people follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter, but if you read this blog, you probably don't.  Because you're cooler than that.

Anyway, on Twitter recently he posted from the set of his new movie that he had to  wear a shirt that made him want to throw up:

I have to wear this tshirt in my movie and it make me want to throw up

It was supplemented with this picture:

I know, I'm shocked Kutcher's actually going to be in another movie, too.  What with all the camera commercials, I thought he completely sold out for good.

Anyway, I imagine this is just a front for all the people that believe he's a die-hard Hawkeye fan (he's from Iowa), who also happens to claim he's a big Chicago Bears fan.  Yes, the same Bears fan that was in the suite next to me at an Atlanta Falcons game, wearing a Falcons hat, and passionately cheering/praying for them to win. (For the record, I live in Atlanta for school and I did not wear any Falcons gear to the game). As much as that shirt may, or may not, make Ashton want to puke (how could the Michigan Wolverines make anybody who made such a smart wife decision want to puke), he elicits the same feelings from a lot more people than he has following him on his Twittter account about him.

[Big ups to our friends at Guyism for finding this, even if they liked it.]

Today, the University of Michigan announced self-imposed sanctions, including two years probation, for the allegations that the football team and its coaching staff had violated NCAA practice time regulations. The other sanctions include the following, from Mgoblog:

All in all, this is hardly the giant spectacle the Detroit Free Press tried to unearth in February, as the University Record indicates. (Emphasis is mine)

U-M found no evidence of student-athlete abuse, nor any evidence that its employees disregarded student-athlete welfare. This is in stark contrast to early media reports.

Brian (at Mgoblog) continued to go off on the Free Press (as if his Jihad series wasn't enough):

If newspapers cared about truth in reporting as much as the university does about its compliance with NCAA regulations, everyone involved with the story would be looking for a new job.

My take: I'm not at all surprised that the initial report the Free Press published was largely hyperbole. As Mgoblog's "Jihad" tag suggests, the Free Press has taken a "we may go down, but you're coming with us" mentality in their reporting of Michigan football as of late. While some of that may stem from the fanbase's divided opinion of Rich Rodriguez, I think much of it has to do with the fact that the newspaper business is going under. Exaggerating a breaking story on the biggest name in college football was a shot in the arm for a dying industry. Regardless of the fact that this turned out to be extremely overblown, the Free Press has gained another foothold in southeast Michigan, and beyond. The next time they report a story, people will listen because of what happened here.

Overall, the actual sanctions themselves won't amount to much. Cutting out 130 practice hours in 2 years seems like a lot, but considering how much time these guys put into this team, it's just a small slice of the pie. Many of the team's mandatory offseason workouts will likely now become "voluntary," cutting out a huge chunk of the hours they owe.

While the NCAA still has to review Michigan's case again in August, the sanctions U of M announced are likely all we will see. Mgoblog also has a rough transcript of the press conference with athletic director David Brandon and head coach Rich Rodriguez.

[Maize 'n' Brew]

While skimming through the internet this afternoon, I came across an article in which a video of VP Joe Biden was linked.  Biden was speaking on behalf of the 29 miners who lost their lives in West Virginia recently.  In an odd move to humanize the deceased, Biden cites their shared disgust towards Rich Rodriguez, for how he ditched the Mountaineers for the Wolverines.

I guess I wasn't aware he left on bad terms.

[Deadspin]

When it rains, it pours losses, lawsuits, and inevitably -- one day, sooner rather than later -- a pink slip on Michigan head coach, Rich Rodriguez's desk. 

Via Freep:

He now is a defendant in a nearly $1-million breach-of-contract lawsuit stemming from his involvement in a condominium complex in Tuscaloosa, Ala., according to theTuscaloosa News and the Associated Press. The suit follows one filed last summer involving a condominium complex that never materialized in Blacksburg, Va.

Rodriguez is one of several defendants listed in the Alabama suit, filed in Tuscaloosa by the West Columbia Trading Company of South Carolina, which is asking for more than $995,000 plus interest on a $1-million loan for the Legends of Tuscaloosa complex built near the Crimson Tide’s football stadium. The suit claims payment was due Dec. 31, 2007.

Anybody can be sued, so it obviously doesn't mean he's guilty of any thing.  However, the connotations are negative and negative things have been following this guy around like his own asshole since he left West Virginia.  If Rich Rod doesn't somehow miraculously win 8+ games this upcoming season, I think it's safe to say he's more likely to be flipping pizzas at one of David Brandon's Dominos joints than being Michigan's head football coach anytime shortly thereafter.  Of course, that's pretty much common knowledge at this point.

The Michigan hockey team is headed back to the NCAA tournament. Michigan beat Northern Michigan 2-1 last night in the CCHA championship game, capping off an improbable run to their 5th Mason Cup title in the last decade. With the win, the Wolverines also locked up their 20th (!) straight bid to hockey's version of the Big Dance. Louie Caporusso scored twice on the power play for the Wolverines, while tournament MVP Shawn Hunwick stopped 17 of 18 Northern Michigan shots. The Michigan defense held Northern Michigan, the CCHA's top power-play team, to 0-for-5 with the man advantage. Make sure to check out Yost Built for more analysis on the game.

The draws for the NCAA tournament were released earlier today. Michigan is the #3 seed in the Midwest Region, and will face Bemidji State in the first round. If you're familiar with the Bemidji State Beavers, then the rest of this paragraph will be old news to you. But for those of you who are unfamiliar with the great BSU, let me hit you with some knowledge, straight from the Bemidji State website.

Located on the western shore of Lake Bemidji, our north woods campus environment reminds us daily of the need to be in tune with our world.

Ladies and gentlemen, this place ain't no mistake on the lake. Bemidji State is the real deal. Check this out:

Bemidji State University is the place to be...bold, real, innovative, creative, global, aware, successful, and so much more!

You're sure as shit those Beavers are bold and real. Who wouldn't want to get deep into that? Judging by their picture, they seem pretty tight. The best part? They don't look too hairy. And yes, they're serious about their hockey.

Men's hockey: winner of 13 national championships, 21 conference championships and, with an all-time winning percentage of .667, has the highest winning percentage of any NCAA Division 1 team.

That's some impressive shit. Michigan would be ill-advised to think that those Beavers will go down easy.

In all seriousness, Michigan is red-hot right now, and the guy above is providing the Wolverines with some outstanding goaltending. Miami can't be happy about being in the same region as the Wolverines after the ass-kicking they took on Friday night, especially being the #1 overall seed. Still, the Redhawks need to get past Alabama-Huntsville (they play hockey down there?) to get to Sunday's regional final. I think we'll see a Michigan-Miami rematch in a week's time, with the Wolverines edging out a close win to get to the Frozen Four in Detroit two weeks later.

The Michigan has seen its fair share of ups and downs this season, but it's been nothing but clear skies for the Wolverines since getting into the CCHA tournament. The Wolverines swept Lake Superior State 5-2, 6-0 at home, then took over Munn Ice Arena for a weekend in a 5-1, 5-3 sweep against Michigan State. The four straight wins earned Michigan a trip to Joe Louis Arena to take on the Miami (OH) Redhawks, the #2 team in the nation. Miami had no problem with Michigan, or the rest of the CCHA for that matter, during the regular season. The Redhawks went on the road to sweep Michigan 3-1, 5-1 in their two-game series way back in November, and won the CCHA regular season title by a comfortable 20-point margin.

Tonight, Michigan flipped the tables on Miami, sending the Redhawks back to Oxford, OH with their tails between their legs after a 5-2 ass-kicking. The Wolverines jumped out to a 2-0 lead after a first period goal from D Tristin Llewellyn, then another early in the 2nd period by freshman Lee Moffie. A Miami goal by Tommy Wingels cut the lead in half going into the 2nd intermission, but Michigan pulled away with three straight goals in a 4:32 stretch in the third period. Kevin Lynch led the charge, scoring two of those goals and assisted Brian Lebler on the third. A late Miami goal by Trent Vogelhuber provided the final tally. Backup Michigan goaltender Shawn Hunwick outplayed his counterpart Cody Reichard, a finalist for the Hobey Baker Award, though Michigan's solid defense gave Hunwick a lot of help.

Michigan's 23-17-1 record won't be strong enough to get into the NCAA tournament as an at-large bid, so they will need to beat Northern Michigan tomorrow in the Mason Cup final to earn the CCHA's automatic bid. Northern Michigan beat Ferris State 5-4 in an overtime thriller before Michigan and Miami took the ice. Michigan is finally starting to look like the team that the coaches voted as the pre-season #1 team in the CCHA and began the season in the top 5 nationally. If they are able to keep up their recent play, even without captain Chris Summers and starting goaltender Bryan Hogan, the Wolverines could make a deep run into the NCAA tournament. If tonight's game is any indicator, Michigan is fully capable of beating any team in the country.