Fantasy Football Team Names for Fantasy Football Draft Day


Sunday is being touted as the biggest fantasy football draft day of the year, so I figured I would put together a nice list of fantasy football team names you can choose from for your fantasy football team(s).  I did this last year, but I did a list for all sports league and I didn’t put in nearly the type of effort I did for this.  Below you’ll see a list of funny fantasy football team names that I’ve compiled from around the web, off the top of my head, or ones that I’ve made up on my own. I have broken the names up by teams.  That way you can choose one that fits your team of choice or the team you hate, if you’d like.

Now, character constraints differ between leagues, so some might be longer than others and some might just be ridiculously long for the purpose of just being silly.  Choose accordingly.

Also, this list is not exhaustive by any means so add any that you can think of in the comments section.


General Silliness:

Urine Trouble
Victorious Secret
No Punt Intended
Show Us Your TD’s
Off in Church (because no one beats off in church)
Off in Shower (so if you lose your league scoreboard will say, “Team A beats off in shower”)
Armchair Quarterbacks
I Touchdown There
Sofa King Good (or Bad) 
Erin Andrews’ Peephole
Rosa Parks didn’t call shotgun
My couch pulls out but I don’t 
Fourth Down Syndrome
Put My Ditka in her Butkus

Minnesota Vikings:

The Schisms
We Preach Abstinence
Favre from Retiring
Favre Dollar Footlong
40-Year Old Viking
The Good Adrian Peterson
Tavar-is Backup
The Purple Teletubby is Gay
Bros before Shiancoes

Chicago Bears:

Ogunleye’s Conjunctivitis
Offense is Not Our Forte
Cutler’s Blood Sugar
Cash for Cutler’s
Urlocker’s Smelly
Rex and the City

Green Bay Packers:

Brett Who?
Rodgers That
Driver’s Seat
Lambeau Bleeps

Detroit Lions:

My Gym Schwartz Are Dirty
Calvin’s Johnson
MAY the Schwartz be with HEW
Stafford Infection
Staffordable QB
StafFord Field
Delmas-sive Hits In Practice
The Good, The Bad, and The Detroit Lions
Preseason Champs
The Jason Hansons (which is like naming your team “The MVPs”)
Backus to the Future
You Pet it, It Grew

You’ll have to click the “read more” link if you want to see the other 28 NFL teams…

Dallas Cowboys:

Romosexual Tendencies
Scoreboard T.O. Low
Marion’s Barber Shop
Have Bush? Get Barber!
Romo’s Smitten for Witten
Romo Witten His Pants 
I Love Witten, No Romo

New York Giants:

Burressted Development (and yes, I know he’s not on the Giants anymore, but he needed a team)
2 Mannings 1 Cup
Coughlin up blood
Sinorice Likes Licorice

Philadelphia Eagles:

Kibbles and Vicks
Vick in a Box
The ConVicks
Hide Your Beagle, Vick is an Eagle
The City of Doggy Love
Vick Will McNabb Your Position

Washington Redskins:

Children of the Zorn
Cooley’s Weiner
Home is where the Portis 
Hardcore Zorn
Jason Campbell’s Chunky Soup
Todd Yoder was not in Star Wars

New Orleans Saints:

Drop a Deuce
Brees Nuts
Reggie’s Bush

Atlanta Falcons:

Matt Ryan’s Belt
The Fast and the Jerious
Michael Turn The Corner
Milloy Needs a Lawyer

Tampa Bay Bucaneers:

Josh Farewell
I beg to Dilfer
Remember when Gramatica hurt himself celebrating?

Carolina Panthers:

No Place Like Delhomme
Hot Peppers

San Francisco 49ers:

I got Crabtrees
Crabtrees Shack
Frankly my team’s a Bore
Frank Al Gore
Shaun of the Hill
Singletary Can’t Do It, Won’t do it

Seattle Seahawks:

Ducket of Chicken
The Executive, Legislative, Judicial, and Deion Branch
T.J. Who’s Your Momma
Hasselback Mountain
I ain’t no Hasselback Girl
Matt Quarterback

St. Louis Rams:

Bulger in your pants
Okay, I got nothing else…

Arizona Cardinals:

Giving Defenses Fitz
Kurt Warner Cable
Hightowered Offense
Heart of a Leinart
Breaston Plants

Cincinnati Bengals:

Chad Ocho Stink Hole
Ocho Cinco My Battleship
Chad lost his Johnson
The Bungles
Orange Jumpsuits

Pittsburgh Steelers:

Tittsburgh Feelers
I like Hines 57 on my Roethlisberger
Ben Rapelisberger
Ben Roethlisrapers 
Dennis Dixon your face
Charlie Biatch
Santonio’s Foreclosed Holmes
Mendenhally Retarded

Baltimore Ravens:

Flacco Seagulls
2 Inches Flacco, 4 Inches Huard
Hakuna Ngata
A Heap of Defense
McGahee and Me
Willis McGayhee

Cleveland Browns:

Our Brady is Hotter than Your Brady
Donte Stallworth’s Car
Yellow Polka Dot Mangini
Donte Drink and Drive
Donte’s Law: Pedestrians are easier to catch than footballs

Tennessee Titans:

Suicide Watch
Drinking Less Tequila
My My My Myyy Bironas
Affair McNair

Houston Texans:

Church of Slaton 
Charles Schaub
Corn on the Schaub
Andre the Giant Johnson
Ahman the Inactive List, Again

Indianapolis Colts:

Manning the Offense
Reggie Little Wayne
To Addai For
Addai Another Day
Dungy’s and Dragons

Jacksonville Jaguars:

Scobee Snacks
The Nancy Jones-Drew Mysteries
Don’t Let Your Garrard Down
A Bunch of Cox on Defense

Miami Dolphins:

Ginn and Juice
Chad Hennington

New England Patriots:

Bill Belichick’s Rental Videos
Moss growing on Brady
Brady needs a Welker 
A Maroney Sandwich
BenJarvus Green-Ellis Law Firm

Buffalo Bills:

That’s my Dick Jauron
The T.O. Show
Marshawny Grill

New York Jets:

Dirty Sanchez
Itch my Cotchery
Feely my Pigskin

Kansas City Chiefs:

White Cassel
Somewhere over the Dwayne Bowe
Take a Bowe
Lick my Larry Johnson
Sand Cassel

Denver Broncos:

Travis Henry is my dad
Orton (hears a) Who?
Orton hears a boo
Gourmet Scheffler
No Marshall on this Flight

Oakland Raiders:

The Bung Hole
Tom Cable’s Fight Club
Justin Fungus

San Diego Chargers:

The Gates is Open
Scattered LT-Storms
Just Kaeding
Mystic Rivers
Zach and Merriman Make a Porno

Again if you have any, add them in the comments! Hope you were able to find a team name from this list.  And after you find a team name, the actual draft is pretty important, too.  Our friends over at Sharapova’s Thigh have your pre-draft fantasy football roundup ad nauseum!


About Bob Biscigliano

Bob is a writer of s(p)orts