Dennis Rodman Doesn’t Really Draw A Crowd, Unless Maybe He’s in a Dress

dennisrodman

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Detroit Bad Boy, Dennis Rodman, was paid $40,000 to coach a couple games for the Eastern Basketball Alliance’s Elmira Bulldogs and it comes as no surprise that his name/appearance resulted in an record breaking attendance of about 600 people over the two games this past weekend.   Talk about your all-time backfires.  Charles Berch, director of operations, realizes this better than anyone – as he probably packs his bags:

“We tried to do this because we were trying to get the team on better financial ground, but it backfired on us. The community and the city did not support this event. I’m beginning to think maybe they are not into basketball. Maybe it is just a hockey town.

It’s going to be a miracle making it through the season.”

$40,000 sounds a little excessive for a cameo coaching gig, by Dennis Rodman no less.  But at least it worked in the standings – the Elmira Bulldogs won both games to put the ‘dogs back into first place!   Praise Dennis Rodman!  No, really.  They really, really want you people to feel like you missed out on something BIG!!!!!!!!!:

DENNIS RODMAN COACHES A MASTERPIECE AND LEADS BULLDOGS TO HUGE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. [...]

[...] Dennis Rodman was the difference.  Rodman in his second game of his professional coaching debut weekend spent much of the game pacing the sidelines while directing and positioning Elmira’s players in ways that never seemed to fail.  During timeouts, dead ball situations and foul shots it was Rodman who was constantly calling one of the teams guards over to set up Elmira’s next play on the fly and it rarely if ever seemed to back fire.  Coach Rodman was even seen grabbing the clip board during timeouts to draw up key plays on the fly much like could be seen from his former head coach Phil Jackson.

“I have never in my life seen such a thing of beauty,” stated Bulldogs assistant coach James R. Schutz.  “It was like he was an artist painting a picture, every time he drew up a play or designed one on the fly it worked.  He can see things happen before they happen and knows exactly where to position players on offense and defense”.

With that kind of recommendation and a perfect winning percentage, Rodman could probably coach the Pistons tonight — graphic tee, trucker hat, and all.

[Star Gazette]
[Elmira Bulldogs]
[HJBosch21]

Bob Biscigliano

About Bob Biscigliano

Bob is a writer of s(p)orts, fan of Detroit, a-hole with a great kitchen, and one hell of a model American

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