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Curtis Granderson's highlights being used for the Devil's work?
Written by John Mapplethorpe   
Friday, 08 May 2009 22:13

If you aren't familiar with him, Curtis Granderson has been the starting centerfielder for the Detroit Tigers since the magical 2006 season, when as a rookie he led the Tags as their lead-off hitter to the World Series where they lost to the St. Louis Cardinals in 5 games due to the Detroit pitchers viewing the international stage as a wonderful opportunity to do their best Chuck Knoblauch-throwing-to-first impressions.

Curtis is a tremendous young talent in Major League Baseball.  On September 9, 2007 Granderson stole his 20th base of the season and joined Willie Mays and Frank "Wildfire" Schulte as the only players in major league history to reach 20 doubles, 20 triples, 20 home runs, and 20 stolen bases in a season.  His 23 triples in 2007 were the most in a season since 1949.  He has power, speed, and a great arm.

He also happens to be extremely popular off the field, and for good reason.  He isn't just a meathead athlete, as he graduated from the University of Illinois-Chicago with a double major.  He has already worked for TBS as an analyst in the post-season the last two years, and has represented MLB overseas on multiple occasions.  He has allowed the entire city of Detroit to "friend" him on facebook.  Crotchety Tigers manager Jim Leyland basically offered to whore his own daughter out to the guy, he thinks so highly of the young fella'.  Cougars and co-eds alike want a piece of this guy.  I mean, there are entire blogs dedicated to discussions about whether or not he is single. I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to say that he's a handsome guy- let's just say that IF Andy Dick were gay, he would want to play a little game with Curtis called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Penis."

So tonight, I was particularly thrilled to see Curtis save the opening game of a 3 game set in Cleveland.  Granderson made an absolutely incredible catch at the 400 mark in right-centerfield, jumping against the wall and bringing a homerun off the bat of Grady Sizemore back into the park.  Oh yeah, did I mention that there was one out in the bottom of the ninth, the Tigers and their starting pitcher Justin Verlander were clinging to a 1-0 lead, and Sizemore's blast would have been a walk-off had Grandy not snared it, as there was a runner on first base?  Watching the grab, I had flashbacks to Chester "Chet" Lemon leaping over fences around the American League to take runs off of the scoreboard during the "Bless you boys" era.

I was excited about the catch, but I stumbled upon a video on youtube filmed by a guy in his parents' basement who was a little TOO excited by the catch.  Check it out for yourself below, but make sure there are no kids around when you do, and do NOT open it at work, because it's graphic.  I counted three and a half nuts busted as "creepy guy" watches Granderson's catch over and over on TV, no doubt with man in hand.  You would be three sheets to the wind in no time playing a drinking game with sips being taken every time the perpetrator moans, "Oh my gosh."

Anyways, take a look, but try to concentrate on the catch being made on the screen, and not on the dolphin being flogged in the background.  Inappropriate pulling of the goalie aside, the Tigers are 15-13 and within striking distance of the first place Kansas City Royals.


Digg! Reddit! Facebook! Technorati! StumbleUpon! BallHype: hype it up!
Comments (1)Add Comment
...
written by toasterhands, May 11, 2009
For god sakes, Curtis was not kidding!!!!!!!

1st place Tigers!

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