Carl Pavano May Be Able to Beat the Tigers But He Couldn't Please Alyssa Milano

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Carl Pavano May Be Able to Beat the Tigers But He Couldn't Please Alyssa Milano

Written by John Mapplethorpe

Saturday, 08 August 2009 19:05

The Cleveland Indians committed a cardinal sin of baseball and traded a player to a division rival while they are in the middle of a pennant race. Yesterday the Tribe traded Carl Pavano to the Minnesota Twins for a player to be named later. This was part of a cost-cutting movement by the Indians management as they prepare to deal with a projected $16 million in losses by the end of this season. Cleveland also sent catcher Victor Martinez to the Red Sox and Cliff Lee to the Phillies in two of five other deals preceeding the trading deadline.

This trade was annoying on many levels.

First of all, everyone knows you don't deal anyone down the homestretch to a team in your division who is fighting for first place. This trade really stuck it to the Tigers and White Sox, who are battling with the Twins for the playoff spot that will be offered up to the AL central winner. Secondly, Pavano has been a thorn in Detroit's side already this year. He is only 9-8, but 3 of those 9 wins have come against Le Tigre. As I post this, Pavano is shutting out the Tigers in his first start for the Twinkies and the Twins are beating Detroit 11-0 in the 8th inning. The Tigers and Twins play each other 7 times in September and October and hence the Tigers will likely face Pavano twice more.

So I'm not happy about this trade. I'm also not happy about the fact that Pavano couldn't please Detroit4lyfe's favorite actress, Alyssa Milano, according to our sources. I won't go into detail because Pavano's lawyers are probably better than ours, but our sources are pretty reliable. Pavano's been dogged publicly by other exes, including model Gia Allemand, who said of Pavano after dumping him days before his opening day start in the Bronx in 2007, "I gave up my job so I could help him and then he cheats on me. Nice huh? It's about as bad as his pitching." Ouch. That last part hurt.

Alyssa was cute-as-a-button as Samantha Micelli in "Who's the Boss", and she has become much more successful than Danny Pintauro, make no mistake. She has been in many feature films, made-for-TV movies and sitcoms, she enjoyed a long run starring in and producing the series "Charmed", and has released several CD's as a vocalist. She is a philanthropist, and best of all, she loves sports, baseball in particular, and not only does she blog for Major League Baseball, but she wrote a book entitled, "Safe at home: Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic", which was released a few months ago. Her current project is the sitcom "My girlfriend's boyfriend," which she stars in and produces.

In the words of former Lions quarterback Jeff Garcia, Alyssa Milano is "hot as balls". Evidence 1a:

She's on Twitter and tweets like no other, so follow her at http://twitter.com/Alyssa_Milano. John Mapplethorpe is not on twitter because he doesn't have time for such nonsense, but Detroit4lyfe's team physician is, and you can follow him at http://twitter.com/cpackey.

UPDATE: Carl Pavano indeed beat the Tigers again tonight. Against the Tigers this season, Pavano is 4-0 with a 1.48 ERA. Pavano is just 6-8 with a 6.16 ERA vs. everyone else.

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written by Real Fake Sports, August 10, 2009

I don't know if giving the Twins Carl Pavano is sticking it to the Tigers and White Sox as you put it despite his performance on Saturday. Given Pavano's track record it's more like sticking it to the Twins.