hossama bin laden

Hockey Terrorist: Marian Hossama Bin Laden

If you want your innocent Stanley Cup hopes and dreams killed, then do business with Marian Hossama Bin Laden.  He will lead you on that he wants to be a winner, but then bail and go off to try and kill some other team’s quest for dominance

After terrorizing the Penguins in 2008, he turned down a lucrative offer to jump ship and sign with the dominant Detroit Red Wings.  His strategic plan from within worked as he blew up the Wings’ 2009 Stanley Cup repeat chances.  Detroit stupidly tried to give Hossama a chance to resign and continue his journey for that elusive Cup, but Hossama decided that he would take his Al Quaida, which means “one hand on the stick”, moves to the Chicago Blackhawks, which also included a little more money for more fire power AKA more money so that his girlfriend can afford the better brands of pussy whips.

Hossama Bin Laden signed a ridiculous 12-year deal (a deal that will take Hossama to his hockey terrorist death bed age of 42) with the young Blackhawks.  And why not, it all makes sense.  The Blackhawks are a young, promising team looking to win their first Stanley Cup since 1960-61 and Hossama will be damned if they rise to the top.  He’ll spend the next 12-years terrorizing this franchise, so they will not reach elite status and have their names ingrained on sports’ most coveted trophy.

He’s done it his entire career, but most recently he’s done it to the Penguins in 2008, the Red Wings in 2009, and he’ll be doing it to the Blackhawks for the next 12-years.  That is unless the U.S. Government can find him and put an end to Hossama’s terrorism.


UPDATE: This is clearly just a joke and I don’t really believe Hossa is a terrorist, or that he even makes any team worse.  He’s a great player as evidenced by his numbers.  If you don’t have a strong sense of humor then just move along.  No need for profanity laced comments.

About Bob Biscigliano

Bob is a writer of s(p)orts