No more Billy Madison mock-arguments with the shampoo and conditioner — Matt Stafford is here to tell you that Axe can make your hair clean, silky, and smooth — all in one — in addition to getting attractive girls to pop up out of nowhere like pimples, very hot pimples, and start giving you sensual temple massages (and if you’re lucky, maybe they’ll ask you to treat them to an expensive dinner).
I, for one, fully endorse Axe. One time, I went weeks without showering to test the powers of Axe. When I was at the mall, stealing coins from the fountain, Wilbur fell from the sky and landed on top of me, knocking me out cold. As I came to, seventeen pretty girls were surrounding me, washing my scalp and speaking to me in a different language. I think it was Asian. Next thing I know, my hair is snagless and my grandmother is running her wrinkly fingers through it trying to wake me up for school. Hey, hair action is hair action. Thanks Axe.
PS — when was the last time you had a hot drive through lady? ZOMG! SO UNREALISTIC!