Lions RB Kevin Smith wishes he could live at the Playboy Mansion

kevinhefner

I’m a big fan of Lions RB, number 34, Kevin Smith.  He worked his ass off this past off-season, plays hard every play, and is quickly budding into a premier running back in the NFL.

Recently, Lions beat writer, Brian Van Ochtan, got with Kevin Smith and played a fun game of 20 questions.  Kevin Smith had a few odd answers that I felt like (over)analyzing before the Lions take the field and Kevin Smith leads them to victory against the Washington Redskins on Sunday:

Q: Your childhood heroes?

KS: My mother, Pamela, MacGyver, Will Smith, Jamal Anderson’s “Dirty Bird” and Captain Planet.  I didn’t watch cartoons as a kid, I used to watch MacGyver.

Pamela Anderson? Or is that his mother’s name? Poor grammar by MLIVE if Pamela is his mother’s name and not a separate person on the list.  And the Dirty Bird, the dance itself, was a hero of his?  Can an end zone dance really be a childhood hero?  And does KS know his childhood hero’s creator is into blow and white teenage boys’ genitalia?

Q: Your favorite movies?

KS: “Paid in Full,” “Training Day,” “Blow,” “Cocaine Cowboys,” and “Home Alone 3.”

I don’t know what it means, but every single one of these movies deals with drugs, except for Home Alone 3.  I take that back, all of these movies involve drugs, as Macaulay Culkin is/was addicted to drugs.  And why Home Alone 3? That was by far the worst one.

Q: Any hidden talents?

KS: If I’m 6-3, I probably don’t touch a football and I’m probably a premier point guard in the NBA.  I can swim very well.  I can play field hockey, too.  I learned to play field hockey at the YMCA.

He’s 6’1.  What difference would those two inches really make? Also, I don’t know if I would ever admit that I play field hockey.  It’s a woman’s sport and it’s awful.  I give him credit for volunteering that information, though.

Q: If not football, what other career would you like to pursue?

KS: If I wasn’t playing football, I’d be a rapper.  I know how to rap.  I’m good at it.

I still don’t understand how those two inches prevent him from being that premier point guard in the NBA (and still rap).  See Allen Iverson.  Pretty funny way to answer the question, too — short and elementary-like.  It instantly reminded me of Adam Sandler’s interview for a job in “Wedding Singer.”  I like money.  I collect it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I’d like to make more money.  And that’s where you come in.

Q: Your bucket list?

KS:  1. I want to make the Pro Bowl  2. I want to make sure my life is right with God; 3.  I want to live with a lot of girls like Hugh Hefner.

The number one thing on his bucket list is to go to a Pro Bowl, yet he talks about wanting to win all these games.  Has he completely written off a Super Bowl since he plays for the Lions?  It’s nice that he wants to make things right with God, but he might need a No. 4 after his No. 3:  Double check with God

I’m really not hating on the guy, contrary to what you might think.  I’m a huge fan of his, but some of these answers raised an eyebrow.  Am I the only one?

If you’re a fan of Kevin Smith like I am, visit his website http://kevinsmith34.com. He blogs and has some good things to say on there when he writes.

GO LIONS!

Bob Biscigliano

About Bob Biscigliano

Bob is a writer of s(p)orts, fan of Detroit, a-hole with a great kitchen, and one hell of a model American

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