Jared Allen has a Schism With Detroit


Vikings’ DE, Jared Allen, took some (redundant) parting shots at the Lions and the city of Detroit on Jay Glazer’s Fox Sports show on Monday.  When Glazer started the show, he asked Allen what happened in the first half (Lions took a 10-0 lead and led 10-7 at halftime):

The refs actually called us in and they gave us all Ambien.  They said we need to level the playing field.”

After going off topic a little bit, Glazer revisited the Lions, volunteering the information that they have lost 19 straight now.  He asked Allen what he would do if he lost 19 straight and Allen simply replied, “suicide.”

Later in the show after… it got weird, Glazer asked Allen for his three least favorite cities to play in.  I think you have a slight idea what his top choice would be:

Detroit, because it’s usually gloomy and there’s no one usually at the game”

First of all, your teeth are gloomy, Jared.  And your latter comment is stupid.  Detroit actually sold out Sunday’s game and it’s not exactly easy bringing fans to the stadium when their winless in their last 19 tries.  That being said, you won’t EVER hear any Lions begging fans to use their Christmas paychecks to buy tickets (especially if they were for the playoffs  — and save your “because Detroit won’t ever be in the playoffs” comments.  Good one).

Here’s the, roughly, 10-minute long interview.  Listen carefully because Allen’s raspy voice almost makes it unbearable to watch/listen.

It actually sounds like Allen’s gargling Chad Greenway’s semen. Chad enters the frame after he finished returning the favor.

I have to admit Allen’s “schism” comments about the whole Brett Favre saga were actually pretty funny.  But don’t let that make you think he’s a “likable” or a “funny” person because it was definitely uncharacteristic.  Allen is usually cliche and unfunny.  He’s cheap, he’s a hypocrite (see Allen whining over Gosder Cherilus hitting him low after Allen did same thing to Matt Schaub), and he thinks his Average Homeboy, Blazin’ Hazen, mullet is sweet.  Oh, he also has three DUI offenses.  Smart guy.

Glazer’s not much better, either.  He asked leading questions that basically begged for these douchebag remarks.  He reminds me of Carson Daly on steroids, with a shaved head.  He’s somewhat of a massive tool.

I like what the Free Press had to say about Allen in their final line of this story:

Go get him, Gosder. Nov. 15 in the Metrodome.

About Bob Biscigliano

Bob is a writer of s(p)orts