If you haven't heard by now that Calvin Johnson is on the cover of Madden 13, get out from under your rock. As expected, the cover looks amazing, and will definitely be something I'm buying this year despite (a) a general lack of money and (b) little hope or faith left in the Madden game experience itself. Basically, I want this cover.

Yeah, so he's got the same look on his face that most of his teammates get when they see a big bag of weed, but who cares. Megatron is hungry for touchdowns, not munchies.

And hey, the last time the Madden cover wasn't cursed, a Lions player was on the cover.

Just sayin'.

[The Wayne Fontes Experience]

Calvin Johnson appeared on Letterman last week in order to celebrate and promote the fact that he's been chosen to break the Madden curse. Since he's such a nice guy, Megatron decided that advising young athletes on their career choices was more important than discussing the 10 best things about being on the Madden 13 cover.

The video itself, like most of Letterman's jokes nowadays, is nothing special. I like the suit though.

[SB Nation Detroit]

It's the greatest weekend of the year if you're a Washington Redskins fan. No, we're not talking about when the Cowboys eventually flop in the playoffs. The NFL draft came and went once again, and once again I have almost zero idea who was chosen and why. That being said, continue reading to figure out exactly what you need to know about the Lions' draft as well as where the draft-eligible Michigan and MSU players ended up.

The Lions spent their first round pick on Iowa OT Riley Reiff. A lot of fans were expecting the team to select a cornerback with the pick, but Reiff should be a solid contributor from day one. And let's face it, if you're a 300 lb. plus individual from anywhere between Pennsylvania and Montana, you're probably a solid offensive lineman. The fact that he was in his family's barn in South Dakota only makes me like him more. He had an incident with the police before he started college, which is never a good idea, but the story itself is pretty hilarious. I hope he bench presses bales of hay.

The Lions' next pick was quite the headscratcher. They took Oklahoma WR Ryan Broyles, who, according to my slightly inebriated roommate (a Texas alum), is tall and fast. Since Broyles is listed at 5'10", I'm doubting my roommate's future as an NFL scout.

The Lions then went on a major defensive run, selecting five players on that side of the ball on day 47 of the draft. Their picks include CB Dwight Bentley, LB Ronnell Lewis, LB and name-of-the-draft candidate Tahir Whitehead, CB Chris Greenwood (who went to Albion College in Michigan, leading me to realize that Albion actually has a football team), and CB Jonte Green. I have no idea if any of these players are good, and anything that I could potentially say here is information that I would just be taking from Big Al anyway, so go check out his site if you're more curious. We have better jokes though.

UPDATE: The Lions also picked up Boise St. QB Kellen Moore and Oklahoma LB Travis Lewis.

Click after the jump to see what happened to the former Michigan and MSU players that were drafted this weekend.

Lions RB Mikel Leshoure was charged with possession of marijuana -- his second offense in less than 2 months -- during a traffic stop today in southwest Michigan. Apparently Leshoure has seen Super Troopers one too many times, as he tried to eat the weed before getting busted. Clearly, he should've listened to the sage advice of one Johnny Drama before picking up this habit.

Since this is his second offense (seriously Mikel, smoke more weed), Leshoure could be facing upwards of a 4-game suspension by the NFL. And you thought Matthew Stafford had a hard time getting on the field early in his career...

[The Detroit News]

The Lions opened the 2012 free agency period on Wednesday with a bang, re-signing Calvin Johnson to a record breaking (for a wide receiver) 8 year, $132 million contract. The deal includes $60 million guaranteed, the most in NFL history. While this might seem like reckless spending from the Lions front office, I give you three reasons otherwise.

1. This.

2. The deal actually saves the Lions about $10 million in cap space next season, which was a big concern for the Lions as of a week ago.

Think about it like this: with this deal, Megatron would be the fourth-highest paid player on the Tigers. Prince Fielder doesn't see what the big deal is.

Soon after the deal was inked, Johnson was also not wasting any time. He tweeted his thanks to the fans, then asked an extremely important question that 99% of the fanbase likely doesn't have the answer to.

While I appreciate the gesture, I'm not sure I like the idea of him driving around in a station wagon.

Go for the Italia, Calvin. It's faster.

Ndamukong Suh was pulled over -- yes, again -- today in Portland, Oregon by police for speeding. Normally, we wouldn't waste our time with a bullshit traffic stop, even for one of our stars. However, Suh was going 91 MPH in a 55 zone which, despite being fairly normal in metro Detroit, is still pretty illegal. Additionally, Suh was cited for not having proof of insurance.

Suh's reaction to the incident is, in my opinion, downright puzzling.

He must have been referring to his citation for improperly signaling, which we all know is a joke of a ticket. Otherwise, I'd like to see a little more tact from the big guy next time.

[Pride of Detroit]

If there's one thing Lions fans can agree on, it's that GM Martin Mayhew has been worlds better in the front office than Matt Millen ever was. As bad as those 8 seasons were (seriously, how the fuck did he last that long?), I would be hard-pressed to believe that even he would dare to claim that Drew Brees is merely "very good."

However, this is exactly what New Orleans Saints GM Mickey Loomis did when questioned as to why the Saints haven't already backed a Brinks truck up to Brees' front door. (To clarify, yes, we are talking about the Drew Brees that broke just about every single-season NFL passing record that exists last season.)

So, Martin (can I call you Marty?), I beg of you: don't ever be this stupid. If Matthew Stafford continues to improve over the next three seasons, don't play hardball. Pay the man. Give Stafford whatever he wants, especially if it means no more commercials from the guy on Dirty Jobs.

[Yahoo! Sports]

The Lions are taking an innovative approach to football next season by replacing their offensive line with a 10-foot tall building that Matthew Stafford can throw off of. Judging by today's 7-on-7 drills with some bum receivers from ESPN, the results are promising: 6-of-10, with a couple drops and zero QB pressures.

There is still no word on whether NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will fine Ndamukong Suh for this, but we won't be surprised if Suh is out another $100k by next week.

When Matthew Stafford finishes throwing for over 5,000 yards and 41 touchdowns, he looks at lesser NFC North quarterbacks and says, "If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son..." 

Stafford definitely does not have girl problems. He's in love and he 'don't care who knows it.'

But that doesn't mean he's ready to go and put a ring on it; he's hoping to bring home one of these first. By these, if you didn't click the link, I mean a Super Bowl ring:  

Stafford said he was in love but not getting married “any time soon” -- [Dan] Patrick wanted to know what was coming first, a Super Bowl ring or an engagement ring for girlfriend Kelly Hall.

“Oh, my gosh, this guy,” Stafford said. “Hopefully, Super Bowl ring. Hopefully, Super Bowl ring.”

That might be "bulletin board material for the home life" for some insecure girls, but I'm sure Stafford's pretty awesome girlfriend isn't sweating it: 

 

I'm a happily married 25-year-old man and check me out, I'm kick ass. But yeah, Stafford turns 24 this month and will be 25 by the time he brings it home. Any engagement can wait at least a year.

Click here for Stafford's full interview with Dan Patrick.

Guess who's back? Back again? Bobby's back, tell my mom. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back... Meh.

Yeah, I'm back like Shawntel, and what better time to return than to announce the NFL's comeback player of the year -- Matthew Stafford:

Stafford was rewarded for his bounce-back year today by being named Pro Football Weekly/Professional Football Writers Association comeback player of the year.

He's also a favorite for the Associated Press award, the one officially recognized by the NFL and handed out on Super Bowl eve.

Stafford, 23 and playing his first full season in the NFL, bounced back from his injuries in a fairly big way by only setting Lions single-season passing records for yards (5,038), touchdowns (41), and passer rating (97.2). Oh yeah, the Lions made the playoffs for the first time in 12 years.

Yeahhhh, I think it's time someone comes out with the under-embedded video's sequel:

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